1980, march: as fish as i was, i take the decision to got inside the form of a human male and i jump inside a mother's stomach..and so was born
1981: epilectic attack takes me, as fish does not feel very good in the human's body. My father brought me to hospital still in pijama stopping a car and running hopefull..The doctors decided to save me, my energy decided to keep my bones and my skin alive that night.
1983-1990: almost every day my body feel sick: high fever, bad headaches, and the beginning of the human life takes slowly its form: dressing a human skin is not easy for fishes, so the pain is higher with the passing of time...music fills me every time
1983- beginning of social life beginning of the judgments and comparations with the otehr people and lifestyles..beginning of the solitude..but also, beginning of building the places for my dreams and nightmares..mental and fisical Pain grows up: stomachache headache vomit fever and pharmacs for staying better but tehy always come back
1986-1998 . school lifetime: pain solitude little forms of depression obsessions perversions love feelings dreams and nightmares unfaith fears paranoids grows up always more and more...i spend the whole day in my safety hole ; some other small and less creatures around me play with me on a band we have fun but inside the fish, the pain of being human rest and dont' know why my energy is takin a very bad way but i am not able to recognize it
1995: the beginning of a beautiful smoking
1999 - finding and improvin' always more and more art drawing anythin possible..listenin more music isolating myself enjoin my silence playng guitar discovering politic is a bad friend..start to travel more in my mind violence scares me even just by sounds
2000 - first big travel around europe outside my homeland with 3 other behaviours new skin new dreams new reveals but also new pains and fears..i become addicted to travel, beauty woman tobacco and alchool
2001 - Genova. G8. The end of all my social and political utopies. I stop to believe in my illusion
a guy who's the same name of me is dead. that's impressed me so much donnowhy yet
2002 - first big lovestory: girl comes from the north europe my dreams of love are too painfull i believe in the eternal love i believe in the sweet princess who always will understand and find you..i still have imaginary love while perversions and dirty fantasies grew up
2003: death of one of my most frequently met friend pain death of my youth dreams about eternity and lightness big conscience of the human limits end of the lovestory big crash in my feelings. End of the illusion of all my feelings..finding the lightness searchin another kind of love but still not clean from the pains of the youth before thinkin everything's connected to love and i'm becomin insane and emotions stupid mind in my head again illusions filled me up beginning of a new lovestory with a girl from my homeland but canno work: my engine is broken till the depht lovestory no longer than 6 months
2004-2005 : 10 month of psyco coma, i fall down in a not explanable depression the death of my past soul..between the death of the human soul and body for the ribirth seem to be no way: my head and body and mind and soul are under the ground and filled up with strong psycofarmacs for 9 months i don't speak don't meet anybody don't exit don't live or so i appear to the world but my life inside is powerful and my energy higher than never was, it is goin to explode so i cannot control it i am losin it try to be dead more than one time try to think to kill myself often but never with pain end my energy more than one day psichiatric tells me i'm insane or a bad mental ill to cure psicologue does not judge me but i don't speak with anyone of them for the medical science i have a bipolare sindrome
2005,dec: intuition stop to be a mental ill i decide to stop to take farmacs adn stop to be judged by people who sell to you thruths never true i nake myself intuition brought me to think everything was fruit of all my imaginary that was built inside me from inside and outside i- no i, my intuition manage to set myself and my mind free from my dirty and tied side of my soul i only start to follow my visions and my dreams without fixin them only regenerating and stoppin to believin in them so absolutely
2005-...: after the death of the human side,after teh killing of my rationality the fish can live free till his mothernature will decide to let him leave to other lands...I am dead as human on january 2005+. As, fish i will die on.....but, do the fises ever die?!?!?
- Listening to: Just Like You Imagined (NIN)
- Reading: The Art Of Dream - Carlos Castaneda
- Watching: my monitor
- Playing: with my dyrt
- Eating: my toothache
- Drinking: my nightmares
Las AguiLas
